Should You Decide with Your Head or Your Heart?

Countless times, and in countless circumstances, I have helped others, and myself, solve issues. And invariably, if we look at an issue in any depth, the first question becomes - do I solve this using my head, or my heart?

Almost without exception, people respond, "With my head, of course!" Certainly, accessing the logical, practical tools that the human mind provides, makes a great deal of "sense". But I would suggest that logic without heart results in a solution that does not serve the whole person - for every person is a product of both their mind and their heart. So a decision based solely on "logic" is not, perhaps, an entirely satisfactory solution.

Solutions need to fit not just the logistical parameters of the issue being dissected, but the emotional dynamics inherent in the mix. The mind may pounce on an "obvious" solution, but how does the heart react? If there is discord between what the mind decides and what the heart desires, how can the two parts of the whole come together?

What I have discovered, after many years of experimentation, is the certainty that a solution made solely on the basis of mental logic, is intrinsically flawed. Unless you are solving a mathematical equation or proving a law of physics, the heart plays a vital role in creating workable solutions that bring about lastingly happy endings.

Someone once said, "Make decisions with your heart. And use your head to make it work out".

I love that.

The Power of Kindness

How easy it is to become absorbed in our own lives, and focused solely on our own welfare, our own problems. It can seem easier, less complicated, to ignore opportunities to help others. We can quietly assure ourselves that we are doing the best we can given the demands of our own lives, and that someone else who isn't so busy/important/stressed/financially strapped/responsibility-laden can go the extra mile for a friend, relative or stranger in need. In the long run, however, is it really the easiest route to take? In a life you hope will have real meaning, is looking the other way and avoiding lending a hand serving your highest purpose?

I have had several conversations with Dr. Bernie Siegel, author of "Love, Medicine and Miracles, on the importance of helping whoever you can, whenever you can. He and I agree that it "takes a village" to make our world a better place - a place we can, with any measure of comfort, leave to our children. A world where, perhaps in our helping others, we and the people we love will be helped, too.

Kindness wears many faces: a simple smile, an encouraging word, offering a helping hand on a small or magnificent scale - all done with joy, and without thought of our perceived inconvenience or anticipated reciprocation. For the real reward in helping someone in need is the knowledge that you have made their life more bearable and joyful, which on some scale, large or small, makes the world - your "home" - a better place. The next time opportunity knocks, shake off any urge to avoid it: look at its treasure, and open your arms wide to it. Do this as much for yourself as you do for the person who will receive your kindness.

Teen Depression - What You Need to Know

Would you know if your teenager is depressed? The parents of most teens who have committed suicide knew their child wasn’t very happy, but it was only after their child’s death that they realized the warning signs had been there.

Suicide rates among young people are climbing. Suicide is now the third cause of teen death., after accidents and cancer. It has been suggested that approximately 70% of all teens between the ages of 14 and 19 contemplate it at some point.

It is important to take the warning signs of teen suicide seriously and to seek help if you thing that you know a teenager who might be suicidal. Here are some of the things to look for:

* Disinterest in favourite extracurricular activities
* Substance abuse, including alcohol and drug (illegal and legal drugs) use
* Behavioural problems
* Withdrawing from family and friends
* Sleep changes
* Changes in eating habits
* Begins to neglect hygiene and other matters of personal appearance
* Emotional distress brings on physical complaints (aches, fatigues, migraines)
* Hard time concentrating and paying attention
* Declining grades in school
* Loss of interest in schoolwork
* Risk taking behaviours
* Complains more frequently of boredom
* Does not respond as before to praise

Not all of these teen suicide warning signs will be present in cases of possible teen suicide. There are many cases in which a good student commits suicide. It is important to watch for two or three signs as indications of depression, or even teen suicidal thoughts.

Teen suicide warning signs: indications of a suicide plan

According to the Ohio State University Medical Center, there are some things that teens might do that could indicate that they are contemplating, or even planning, suicide. It is important that you make yourself aware of these actions, and use them as starting points to draw your teenager out and perhaps express what is bothering him or her. Here are some of the indications of a suicide plan:

* Actually says, “I’m thinking of committing suicide” or “I want to kill myself” or “I wish I could die.”
* There are also verbal hints that could indicate suicidal thoughts or plans. These include such phrases as: “I want you to know something, in case something happens to me” or “I won’t trouble you anymore.”
* Teenager begins giving away favourite belongings, or promising them to friends and family members.
* Throws away important possessions.
* Shows signs of extreme cheerfulness following periods of depression.
* Creates suicide notes.
* Expresses bizarre or unsettling thoughts on occasion.

Understanding that teen suicide warning signs are serious calls for help is important. Many teenagers share their thoughts and feelings in a desperate attempt to be acknowledged. In many cases, they don’t know how to deal with their feelings and problems and are looking for someone to help them find assistance. Acknowledging these warning signs and seeking help for the problem, and offering support to a teenager who is working through his or her issues is very important, and can help prevent suicide. Teen suicide is a very real danger, and heeding the warning signs can truly save a life.

Where are We Hiding our Courage?

I have seen far greater courage in children than I have seen in adults. What's wrong with this picture? Isn't it up to us to teach children by example?

I have had many opportunities to visit the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto, where suffering and courage are permanent visitors. I have been forever changed by the brave faces of children of all ages, submitting to testing and treatment, some with little hope of a happy outcome. The stories of fear and disillusionment are shadowed on their perfect little faces, but what shakes me to my very core are their eyes - they are the bright eyes of courageous, hopeful, loving little soldiers, who bravely accept what must happen and look for opportunities for happy moments and laughter.

They are what courage should look like.

When I am in a quandary about something - when I am dealing with an issue and feel less brave than I should about confronting it and solving it - I only have to think back to my visits to those wonderful children, and I find my courage again. For, if those magnificent little people can summon their courage during times of enormous stress and uncertainty, who on Earth am I not to summon mine?

Imagine What You Want - Then Create It !

When you sleep, dream of that which awakens and fires your heart. When you are awake, live your dream...

This sounds too easy, doesn't it? It really isn't that hard -

All people who have achieved their definition of success have at least two things in common: First, they imagined what it was that they wanted. Money, a great relationship, a new job, a vacation home - whatever it was, they first decided what it was they were seeking. Then they set achievable goals to get there. Some did it in a few short steps; others chose to get there more slowly, but eventually, they all got what they had chosen to go after. How can YOU do this?

1) Choose your dream !

2) Set your goals - there is a wonderfully easy template found in my book, "Getting It Right: Cutting to the Chase and Creating The Life You Want",

http://www.volumesdirect.com/SearchResult.aspx?KeyWords=Getting%20it%20Right

This template will guide you through each step, from creating your dream/goal, to realizing your reward. You can achieve just about anything, if you set yourself a goal, and systematically follow through with its application and execution. So dream big ! And watch what comes your way....

Blessings,
Sandra
http://www.lewislifecoach.com/

Get it in Gear !

Hope is an action verb, not a noun!

Hope, described as a desire for something, with an attached expectation, is an emotional investment.
Therefore, with hope, comes the risk of pain.

How big is YOUR risk? That’s largely up to you!

Look at whatever it is that you are hoping or wishing for, and determine what role you could be playing in securing a positive result. Hoping passively will not bring the same likelihood of success as hoping proactively. List what steps are necessary to get what you are hoping for. How can you achieve these steps - and is there anyone you should be enlisting to help? Get behind the wheel and drive your dreams to meet their happy reality, and shift the gear from “hope” to “happening” !

What are We Aiming For?

I don't believe Happiness is a Goal - I think it is the Journey. How often have you heard someone say, "If only I had ......., THEN I would be happy. If reaching "the goal" is the creation of happiness, how much of our lives is lost in the wait? Goals are very important - they are the stepping stones of our evolution. But surely the "travel time" has great,if not greater, significance? For although reached goals are admirable milestones, what we learn about ourselves, and who we become on that Journey of learning, determine whether or not the Ultimate Goal is our true reflection, or just an hypothesis that proved inaccurate? The journey gives us time and experience to better hone just what the Goal should be. And it is in this process of accelerated Wisdom, that we better understand our values, our priorities, and our true "Goals". Long may the Journey last!
Blessings !
www.lewislifecoach.com