Should You Decide with Your Head or Your Heart?

Countless times, and in countless circumstances, I have helped others, and myself, solve issues. And invariably, if we look at an issue in any depth, the first question becomes - do I solve this using my head, or my heart?

Almost without exception, people respond, "With my head, of course!" Certainly, accessing the logical, practical tools that the human mind provides, makes a great deal of "sense". But I would suggest that logic without heart results in a solution that does not serve the whole person - for every person is a product of both their mind and their heart. So a decision based solely on "logic" is not, perhaps, an entirely satisfactory solution.

Solutions need to fit not just the logistical parameters of the issue being dissected, but the emotional dynamics inherent in the mix. The mind may pounce on an "obvious" solution, but how does the heart react? If there is discord between what the mind decides and what the heart desires, how can the two parts of the whole come together?

What I have discovered, after many years of experimentation, is the certainty that a solution made solely on the basis of mental logic, is intrinsically flawed. Unless you are solving a mathematical equation or proving a law of physics, the heart plays a vital role in creating workable solutions that bring about lastingly happy endings.

Someone once said, "Make decisions with your heart. And use your head to make it work out".

I love that.

The Power of Kindness

How easy it is to become absorbed in our own lives, and focused solely on our own welfare, our own problems. It can seem easier, less complicated, to ignore opportunities to help others. We can quietly assure ourselves that we are doing the best we can given the demands of our own lives, and that someone else who isn't so busy/important/stressed/financially strapped/responsibility-laden can go the extra mile for a friend, relative or stranger in need. In the long run, however, is it really the easiest route to take? In a life you hope will have real meaning, is looking the other way and avoiding lending a hand serving your highest purpose?

I have had several conversations with Dr. Bernie Siegel, author of "Love, Medicine and Miracles, on the importance of helping whoever you can, whenever you can. He and I agree that it "takes a village" to make our world a better place - a place we can, with any measure of comfort, leave to our children. A world where, perhaps in our helping others, we and the people we love will be helped, too.

Kindness wears many faces: a simple smile, an encouraging word, offering a helping hand on a small or magnificent scale - all done with joy, and without thought of our perceived inconvenience or anticipated reciprocation. For the real reward in helping someone in need is the knowledge that you have made their life more bearable and joyful, which on some scale, large or small, makes the world - your "home" - a better place. The next time opportunity knocks, shake off any urge to avoid it: look at its treasure, and open your arms wide to it. Do this as much for yourself as you do for the person who will receive your kindness.

Teen Depression - What You Need to Know

Would you know if your teenager is depressed? The parents of most teens who have committed suicide knew their child wasn’t very happy, but it was only after their child’s death that they realized the warning signs had been there.

Suicide rates among young people are climbing. Suicide is now the third cause of teen death., after accidents and cancer. It has been suggested that approximately 70% of all teens between the ages of 14 and 19 contemplate it at some point.

It is important to take the warning signs of teen suicide seriously and to seek help if you thing that you know a teenager who might be suicidal. Here are some of the things to look for:

* Disinterest in favourite extracurricular activities
* Substance abuse, including alcohol and drug (illegal and legal drugs) use
* Behavioural problems
* Withdrawing from family and friends
* Sleep changes
* Changes in eating habits
* Begins to neglect hygiene and other matters of personal appearance
* Emotional distress brings on physical complaints (aches, fatigues, migraines)
* Hard time concentrating and paying attention
* Declining grades in school
* Loss of interest in schoolwork
* Risk taking behaviours
* Complains more frequently of boredom
* Does not respond as before to praise

Not all of these teen suicide warning signs will be present in cases of possible teen suicide. There are many cases in which a good student commits suicide. It is important to watch for two or three signs as indications of depression, or even teen suicidal thoughts.

Teen suicide warning signs: indications of a suicide plan

According to the Ohio State University Medical Center, there are some things that teens might do that could indicate that they are contemplating, or even planning, suicide. It is important that you make yourself aware of these actions, and use them as starting points to draw your teenager out and perhaps express what is bothering him or her. Here are some of the indications of a suicide plan:

* Actually says, “I’m thinking of committing suicide” or “I want to kill myself” or “I wish I could die.”
* There are also verbal hints that could indicate suicidal thoughts or plans. These include such phrases as: “I want you to know something, in case something happens to me” or “I won’t trouble you anymore.”
* Teenager begins giving away favourite belongings, or promising them to friends and family members.
* Throws away important possessions.
* Shows signs of extreme cheerfulness following periods of depression.
* Creates suicide notes.
* Expresses bizarre or unsettling thoughts on occasion.

Understanding that teen suicide warning signs are serious calls for help is important. Many teenagers share their thoughts and feelings in a desperate attempt to be acknowledged. In many cases, they don’t know how to deal with their feelings and problems and are looking for someone to help them find assistance. Acknowledging these warning signs and seeking help for the problem, and offering support to a teenager who is working through his or her issues is very important, and can help prevent suicide. Teen suicide is a very real danger, and heeding the warning signs can truly save a life.